


Just Say if it's too Late for Me

by Clonewarstrash (Dysgrammatophobia)



Series: Camp NaNo April 2018 [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Bullying, Child Neglect, Disordered Eating, Don't read these tags if you don't want to be spoiled, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, The Force, non-graphic descriptions of violence against a minor, obi-wan gets a hug, the author's poor attempt at lightening a serious issue with humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-17 19:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14196300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dysgrammatophobia/pseuds/Clonewarstrash
Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn would like it on the record that he is not hiding from his Grandmaster. He is definitely not skulking around a low-traffic part of the initiate wing in an effort to avoid another conversation with the little green troll about how he should take on another padawan.Wherein Qui-Gon stumbles upon an initiate crying alone and has to decide what to do about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece I wrote for Camp NaNoWriMo April 2018. It was written on April 1 and edited on April 2. It really got away from me and became something very different from the lighthearted piece I was intending. That being said, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Title is from the song Doctor My Eyes by Jackson Brown.

Qui-Gon Jinn would like it on the record that he is not hiding from his Grandmaster. He is definitely not skulking around a low-traffic part of the initiate wing in an effort to avoid another conversation with the little green troll about how he should take on another padawan. He absolutely has not chosen the initiate wing because he knows that’s the last place said troll of a Jedi Master would look for him. No, Qui-Gon Jinn was simply taking a stroll through the Temple to stretch his legs and he happened to find himself in the last place the most venerable Master Yoda would look when seeking out Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon is certainly not in denial and holding on to what’s left of his dignity with both hands; not at all.

 

As Qui-Gon was taking his leisurely stroll from corner to corner—making sure to check both ways before he quickly, but calmly (he is very calm. Qui-Gon Jinn is a bastion of calm in an otherwise frantic world. He doesn’t care how many credits the Council has on his so called inevitable mental breakdown; he is calm!), moved to the next place of cover, he happened upon a young initiate curled up in his intended path. The young human appeared to be in some distress judging by his shaking shoulders and quiet, gasping sobs. Now Qui-Gon found himself with a bit of a conundrum. Does he continue on his skulk ( _stroll, kark it! It’s a stroll!_ ) and pretend he never saw the child, leaving him for the creche masters to find? Or does he approach the child and discover the source of his tears?

 

In another world, Qui-Gon chooses to pretend he’d never seen the child. This one small choice is the first step to the decimation of the Jedi Order and the fall of the galaxy to the darkness.

 

The Force whispered to the Jedi Master. _Talk to him. He needs you. Talk to him._ It seemed to say. _Sith spit!_ He can’t leave the child, nor can he be sure no harm will come to the child if he is left alone in this state. Qui-Gon has to involve himself in the affairs of a youngling. _Yoda must never find out about this._

 

As the clearly not panicking Jedi Master kneeled on the floor next to the distressed youngling, he had one crystal clear moment of realization that he may be the worst possible person to help a child in emotional distress; this moment of clarity passes as the youngling notices his presence.

 

“Hello Initiate. I am Master Qui-Gon Jinn. May I have your name?” Qui-Gon attempted a non-threatening smile, but was uncertain of its effectiveness. The child curled up more tightly and declined to answer.

 

_I’m in so much trouble._ The young initiate began to shake in fear. _Please go away._ He prayed.

 

“Please, young one. I mean you no harm. I simply wish to know the name of the being I’m speaking to.” Qui-Gon hoped this was the right angle to take. The Force was silent to his ears.

 

_Tell him. It’s okay. Trust him._ The Force plied Obi-Wan with feelings of warmth and comfort. “Obi-Wan Kenobi” he hiccoughed into his knees.

 

“It’s good to meet you, Initiate Kenobi. May I ask your age, young one?” It’s hard to get a good look at the boy when he is curled so tightly into himself. If Qui-Gon were to guess, he’d say the child was four or five standards based on his size alone.

 

“Seven” Obi-Wan’s tears have not yet stopped, nor has his labored breathing, but his shaking is calming somewhat at this line of questioning.

 

_By the Stars!_ Seven standards? Is there a food shortage Qui-Gon is unaware of? _How can a human child be so small at seven standards?_ “Are you human, Initiate Kenobi, or humanoid?”

 

“Human,” is what slips out of the sobbing child’s mouth.

 

_Dear Force._ Qui-Gon cannot fathom this possibility. _He can’t be more than 18 kilos soaking wet. He’s so small._ Qui-Gon felt his heart constrict. Suddenly, this child has a hold on him. “Why are you upset, Initiate?”

 

Obi-Wan began shaking anew. “You’ll be mad at me if I tell you,” he gets out.

 

_Mad? Why would the child think I’d be mad? We’ve only just met._ “While I cannot promise an emotional response or lack thereof, I can’t imagine I’d be mad at you for any reason, Initiate Kenobi. We’ve only just met and I simply wish to know what caused your distress. Would you be willing to tell me if I promise not to act on any anger should I feel it toward you?” Force, he hoped he could get the boy to talk to him.

 

Obi-Wan clenched his arms tighter about his knees as he seemed to consider the offer. “Okay,” he whimpered. “I’m not so good at navigation. Master Rhara says I just havta learn at my own pace, but all my classmates get it so fast. I’m so far behind. I’m just so stupid. And Bruck and Aalto kept calling me names and telling me I’d never be a Jedi and they’re right cuz no one will ever want someone so stupid as a padawan. And they told me they could help me with nav if I followed ‘em to the secret study room. I’d never heard of the secret study room but they said it’s cuz no one wanted to study with a dummy like me but they were gonna take pity on me and help me and I followed them, but there wasn’t a secret study room at all. They said they were gonna teach me a lesson and then Aalto grabbed my arms and Bruck hit me and kicked me and then I fell down and Aalto joined in and I couldn’t get up and then I did, but I got lost on the way back to the creche and I hurt so bad and I deserve it cuz I’m too stupid to be a Jedi.” Obi-Wan stated slowly between sobs and sped up as he continued on until he was wailing at the end. The poor child aching with each choking breath but unable to stop himself.

 

Qui-Gon found himself feeling anger the likes of which he hadn’t even felt when Xanatos fell. The reality of this small being’s existence was so grim. His apparent lack of self-esteem, his classmates’ bullying and assault, his pain and suffering; all of this was weighing down on Qui-Gon now. _How can something like this happen without the creche masters noticing?_

 

“Initiate Kenobi, have Bruck and Aalto hurt you like this before?” Qui-Gon feared the answer to his query.

 

“This is the worst, but they hurt me a lot. It’s cuz I deserve it. S’why no one ever helps. I shouldn’t complain. S’my own fault.”

 

Qui-Gon saw red. _Anger is not the Jedi way. Anger leads to the dark side. Let your anger flow into the Force Qui-Gon. The last thing the child needs is anger._ Qui-Gon breathed deep as he centered himself. “Initiate—may I call you Obi-Wan?” He waited for a nod from the boy. “Obi-Wan, I know we’ve just met, but I can assure you you did nothing and you could never do anything to deserve the abuse that has been executed upon you. You are a child and you are learning. You are not stupid. You went with these other children even though you quite reasonably dislike them because you were willing to go to any lengths to learn. Any being who wants to learn so badly and works so hard is worthy of being a Jedi. Don’t let these vicious bullies turn you against yourself. They are the ones undeserving of being Jedi.”

 

For the first time since Qui-Gon came across Obi-Wan in the hall, he lifted his head and looked at Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon had to hold back a gasp at seeing the child’s face. It looked as though it was one big bruise. If Obi-Wan refused to get some care soon, his eyes would likely swell shut. _Those monsters will not lay another hand on this precious light if I have to bodily stand between Obi-Wan and any who would dare do him harm. By the Force, I’m attached to this child!_

 

While Qui-Gon had a minor existential crisis, Obi-Wan took in the Master who’d sat with him and listened to him without judgment. _He’s not mad at me._ Obi-Wan thought with shock. _He thinks I can be a Jedi._ He felt the first spark of hope in what felt like a long time.

 

“Obi-Wan, would you let me help you to the Halls of Healing? I can see you’re in pain and I’d like for a healer to look at your injuries.”

 

Obi-Wan froze up for a moment in panic. “Please don’t take me there! I’ll get in trouble. I’m not supposed to be out of the creche and I am and I don’t wanna be kicked out!” Obi-Wan pleaded up at him through his bruised eyes. Qui-Gon felt his blood freeze in his veins at the abundant fear clear on the initiate’s face.

 

“Obi-Wan, if I promise you won’t be kicked out, will you agree to go to the Halls with me?”

 

“You can’t promise that!” Obi-Wan sobbed out. “You’re just one master. You can’t keep me from being kicked out of the creche if the other masters say I’m a bad initiate!”

 

The Force whispered in Qui-Gon’s ear. _Yes you can. Yes you can._

 

“Yes I can, Obi-Wan, if you agree to be my padawan learner.” Qui-Gon found himself shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. _What am I thinking? It’s barely been three years since Xanatos’ fall. I failed so clearly at being a master to my last padawan. How can I possibly be the master this poor, hurt child needs?_ Despite his fears at his own potential incompetence, he can’t regret his words. The Force sings the rightness of his offer. Obi-Wan Kenobi is meant to be a Jedi and Qui-Gon Jinn can help him get there. _The creche is obviously failing this initiate. Would he really be so much worse off with me? I may not be what he needs, but perhaps I can become it._

 

Obi-Wan stoped breathing in stupefaction. He continued to hold his breath until the pain in his lungs got to be unbearable. He sucked in air in in large, gasping gulps. _He can’t be serious. He can’t want a nobody like me to be his padawan. He doesn’t even know me._ ”You can’t want me. I’m nothing.”

 

“Don’t say that about yourself, Obi-Wan. If you can’t believe in yourself than believe in this—I would not offer to take a nothing as my padawan. I made the offer and I stand by it. Please, Obi-Wan, say you’ll accept me as your master.”

 

_He’s serious. He wants me. Someone actually wants me._ “Yes.” Obi-Wan gasps out. “I accept. I’ll be your padawan.”

 

Qui-Gon reached out for Obi-Wan’s hand as a sign of joy at their new partnership. As their hands connected, the Force swelled around the two. A bond was forged between their minds with no prompting on either of their parts. _A natural Force bond?_ Qui-Gon thought in awe. _When was the last time a natural bond sprung up between a master and an apprentice?_

 

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon in confusion. “What’s happening? My head feels strange.”

 

“That would be our new bond, young one. The Force seems to approve of our partnership and decided to help us along. What you’re feeling is the connection between our minds. The strange feeling will pass as we settle into it.” Master Yoda is going to be so smug. Qui-Gon reached up to his hair and pulled the top part out of its tail. “Let’s make it official, shall we, Padawan mine?”

 

Obi-Wan looked on in confusion until Qui-Gon grabbed a section of hair behind his right ear and began to braid it. His hair being so short meant there wasn’t much there to work with, but this wasn’t Qui-Gon’s first padawan and he knew what he was doing.

 

Qui-Gon released the new braid once he’d tied it off. “That will have to do until you can get the official padawan cut. I apologize in advance for it. It’s meant to be humbling and it does its job well. Now, let’s go to the Halls and see to your injuries. May I pick you up?”

 

“Yes, Master Jinn.” Obi-Wan said with stars in his eyes.

 

“None of that now, Padawan,” Qui-Gon protested as he picked the child up as delicately as he could manage. Still, Obi-Wan couldn’t hold back a flinch at the move. “Qui-Gon, please.”

 

“Yes, Master Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan amended as they trekked towards the Halls.

 

////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Initiate Kenobi!” Master Vokara Che cried out as Qui-Gon carried Obi-Wan into the Halls of Healing. “What on Coruscant happened to you this time?”

 

“It’s Padawan Kenobi, now, Master Che,” Qui-Gon corrected, “He was attacked. He’s in some amount of pain. Will you please help him?”

 

“Of course, of course. My apologies, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi. Put him down on the cot, if you please. I’ll need to scan him for any potential broken bones or internal damage. Those bruises look fresh.” The healer began to gather bacta and prep a hypospray with a pain reliever while Qui-Gon set Obi-Wan gently on the cot. “You know how this goes, Padawan Kenobi. Would you like the pain reliever now or after I’ve done my scan?”

 

Obi-Wan looks up questioningly at Qui-Gon. “You are in pain, Padawan. I won’t make you take the hypospray, but I wish you would. I would rather you not feel such things when you don’t have to,” Qui-Gon smoothly stated.

 

Obi-Wan seemed to think over his master’s words before coming to a decision. “I’d like the hypospray now, please, Master Che.”

 

“Good choice, Padawan Kenobi.” After the healer administered the pain reliever, she began her scan. Her expression stayed serene, but Qui-Gon could sense her distress in the Force. “Well, Padawan, you’ll be happy to know you can be healed and be out of here in a few hours. We’ll need the bone mender and some bacta, but the worst of it will be healed in four hours and the rest will clear up in the next few days. Master Jinn, would you mind assisting me with gathering the bone mender?”

 

“Certainly Master Che.” Qui-Gon followed the Healer out to the hallway where she quickly set her sights on him.

 

“What happened to Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon? His injuries are consistent with a beating! He has three bruised ribs, a broken wrist, and stress fractures in two fingers! He’s lucky he isn’t bleeding internally and I can only assume that’s because his attackers were children themselves and not strong enough to do that kind of damage, yet. What children would have done this to him?”

 

“Two of his crechemates were the culprits. I’ll be bringing charges before the Council. Can I count on your support in this, Vokara?” Qui-Gon requested with steel in his gaze.

 

“Count on it? I demand to be involved in this. Can I have the attackers’ names? I’ll send a call to the creche to gather them. To leave this level of damage on Obi-Wan they had to have damaged themselves somewhat. It will help the case to record that before someone heals the damage.”

 

“Aalto and Bruck were the names he gave me.”

 

“I know of the two. They’ve been here with damage consistent with brawling before. They’ve always had excuses, though and the creche master, Master Vant, has always insisted on their innocence. I can’t tell if she is truly ignorant of the signs, or simply unwilling to admit that she can’t control her clan.” Master Che breathed deep as she said this, releasing her frustration into the Force.

 

“Her words won’t be enough to stop an investigation this time. Obi-Wan is seriously injured and now my padawan. I have a right to insist on a full investigation on his behalf. I intend to exercise this right.” The Force rippled around Qui-Gon. It seemed to approve of his decision.

 

“We’ve left Obi-Wan alone long enough; let’s get the bone mender and return to him. Will you be staying with him through the procedure?” Vokara questioned as they moved to secure the bone mender.

 

“I won’t leave him alone. He’s had a tough day and what seems like a difficult life. He’s my responsibility now and I won’t let him feel unsafe, unwanted, or alone if I can help it. He may need sessions with the mind healers once we’ve settled things with the Council, Vokara. He has startlingly low self-esteem. And have you seen how small he is? Is he sick?”

 

“You’re right about the mind healers. I’ll set up an appointment for later this week. Obi-Wan isn’t physically ill, but he has difficulties with food that you’ll need to watch out for. He doesn’t seem to notice when he feels hungry and can be easily distracted from his meals. It hasn’t caused any serious harm yet, but I notice he’s further underweight than he was when last I saw him. I’ll see about giving you a diet plan for him and some information on how to help him eat better.”

 

“Thank you Vokara.” Qui-Gon and Vokara carried the bone mender into the room and helped Obi-Wan into it. Vokara then began to apply bacta to Obi-Wan’s wounds and bruises.

 

“Padawan Kenobi, your master will help you with the bacta application in the coming days instead of us keeping you here. You make sure he takes good care of you, okay? Now, lay back and relax. Let the bone mender do its work. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours. You two keep each other company until then.” Vokara walked out the door to write her report for the Council and gather the information on Obi-Wan’s diet for Qui-Gon. On the way to her office she stopped and informed a junior healer of what was happening and asked them to summon Bruck and Aalto for an exam. She made certain they knew to record every scrape as it could be evidence of a crime against another member of the Order.

 

/////////////////////////////////////

 

Just over three hours later, after Master Che removed Obi-Wan from the bone mender and checked over his healing progress, Obi-Wan was released from the Halls into Qui-Gon’s custody. He was still a mess of bruises, but his pain was manageable, his eyes were no longer in danger of swelling shut, and his bones were healed to a point where they weren’t afraid of him doing further harm to them outside the Halls. Obi-Wan wouldn’t be able to spar for another week and no katas for the rest of the day, but he could return to gentle exercises tomorrow and he’d be back in fighting shape in no time. Qui-Gon was more worried about his mental health and his lack of weight, but Vokara had assured him Obi-Wan would be okay with proper care and had given Qui-Gon instructions on what that proper care would be. Obi-Wan’s mind healer appointment in the coming week would hopefully start the process of healing what the Order had, whether through negligence or malice, hurt.

 

“Are you ready to see the Council, little one?” Qui-Gon looked down at Obi-Wan walking beside him, hand clenched in Qui-Gon’s robe.

 

“Do we have to, Master?” Obi-Wan nibbled his lower lip from nerves.

 

“Yes, Padawan. At the very least they must be informed of your change in status before I can request proper rooms for us. And it’s important that they know about what the other Initiates did to you, if only so they can prevent it from happening to anyone else.”

 

“Okay, Master.” Obi-Wan hid his face in Qui-Gon’s side.

 

_Force, he’s adorable._ Qui-Gon leaned down and picked up his padawan. “Best not leave the Council waiting then. Master Che was kind enough to call for the Council to meet with us while your bones were mending. She should already be in with them now.”

 

Whatever changes the Council meeting brought, Qui-Gon was certain that nothing the Council would say could matter as much as the feeling of his young charge in his arms and in his mind. _I will protect you, Obi-Wan. You have nothing to fear from this meeting. You will be safe with me from now on._


	2. The Council Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go before the Council to gain approval of their new partnership. The investigation begins into how Obi-Wan was able to get so hurt in the Temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was absolutely blown away by the response to the first chapter. I really had no motivation to continue (writing this chapter was like pulling teeth), but your comments meant the world to me. This chapter is specially dedicated to allibys who gave me my first ever comment!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. As with the last chapter, I have no beta so all mistakes are my own. This was written from April 2, 2018 through April 12, 2018 and edited on April 13, 2018.

Qui-Gon Jinn was not even a little scared at the prospect of presenting his grandmaster, also known as the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order, with a neatly wrapped bow around a situation in which he can do his “I told you so” dance. While Qui-Gon has never seen the dance, he is certain one exists if only to express outwardly the joy he must feel at his padawans’ and grandpadawans’ shame. Not that Qui-Gon is ashamed of Obi-Wan. Stars, no! He’s perhaps a little ashamed of his earlier avoidance of the very idea of taking on another padawan, however. So he was not afraid of entering the Council chambers and presenting his new padawan — his painfully shy, terribly hurt, not broken-but-close padawan — to a Council containing his sure to be smug grandmaster and some of the more hidebound members of the Order who may not appreciate Qui-Gon being allowed to teach another after his last failure. He may be a little scared. Not so much for himself, but for the young light in his arms.

 

 _Obi-Wan needs me. I must be strong. I cannot be my usual just-shy-of-blatantly-disrespectful self if I want to help him. He needs a champion in this fight and it must be me. The Council cannot stand against the will of the Force._ Qui-Gon carried Obi-Wan all the way to the Council chambers and then inside. He saw the looks of shock on their faces, despite having been warned of his and Obi-Wan’s altered circumstances. _I was not expecting shock. I was more expecting exasperation and smugness from various sources. I suppose I have been rather stubbornly against the idea of taking another padawan after losing Xanatos. Perhaps the shock is warranted._

 

Obi-Wan shivers in his master’s arms at the less than friendly gazes cast upon them. _Are they mad because I’m wasting their time? I’m being such a burden; demanding the attention of the Council, complaining about my treatment in the creche, crying over a few bruises, daring to suggest I’m deserving of Master Qui-Gon’s time and attention. Was this all a mistake?_ Obi-Wan’s distress is palpable in the Force.

 

Qui-Gon, sensing his padawan’s distress in the Force and getting a sense of the train of his thoughts through their fresh bond proceeds to ignore the Council to focus on what’s truly important: helping Obi-Wan out of his darkly spiraling thoughts. “No, no, Obi-Wan. The Council is not upset with you. You are wasting no one’s time. This is an important issue that must be brought before them. You are where you are meant to be, little one. We are meant to face this together. Trust in the Force; we are meant to face this together.”

 

The distressed padawan buried his face against his master’s shoulder as he shook with fear. Trying to hold back his tears, he clung tightly to the one being he was certain was on his side. Looking down at the small form curled in his arms, Qui-Gon realized what a long and stressful day it must have been for the youngling and wondered if insisting on a meeting with the Council today was the right choice for the child. _No wonder he’s having such a difficult time remaining calm. Today has been filled with so many upheavals in his life. Please tell me I haven’t made a mistake already. He hasn’t even been my padawan for a whole day. Let me not be another source of pain to him._ He was roused from his worried thoughts by a familiar voice.

 

“Distressed we have made you, youngling. Apologize for that, we do. Our intention to disturb you, it was not.” Master Yoda sat in the traditional seat of the head of the Council. While there were some rumors he was considering stepping down from this role, the Grandmaster has stated that his chosen successor is not yet ready for the role. There were some rumblings that it could be Plo Koon or Ki-Adi Mundi. The shock on the faces of many members of the Order when they learn a few years later that Mace Windu is to be the next head of the Council will be a treasured memory of Yoda’s for years to come. “Informed us of your injuries, Master Che has. Presented us with evidence of the other initiates actions, she has also. Suggested, has she, not the first time this has happened. Truth she speaks, young one?”

 

Obi-Wan knew he was being addressed, yet, despite his master’s best efforts to assure him he was in no trouble, he could not seem to get a handle on his emotions. Keeping his head buried in his master’s shoulder, he nodded his assent to the claims of the Grandmaster.

 

“Verbal response, we require, Padawan Kenobi.” Yoda’s ears drooped further at the sight of the terrified youngling.

 

“Obi-Wan, I know today has been hard for you. If you feel you cannot continue today we can return to the Halls for the evening. If you feel up to continuing now, you’ll need to lift your head, little one.” Qui-Gon’s low, soothing voice seemed to ease some of the tension in the padawan’s form.

 

 _I don’t know what to do._ Obi-Wan thought miserably. _Would tomorrow truly be any better than today._ The young human considered his options for a moment before coming to a decision. _If they’re going to be mad at me, I’d rather get it over with now._ He lifted his head off Qui-Gon’s shoulder and turned it towards the Council. A shock was felt through the Force at the sight of the bruises covering this child’s face combined with the look of resigned terror he wore. “Yes, s’happened before.” Having gotten that statement out, Obi-Wan returned his face to his master’s shoulder.

 

“Sad to hear this, we are. Terrible news, this is. Allowed a youngling to be hurt, we have. Neglected our duties, we have. An investigation, there will be. In no trouble, are you, young Padawan. Sorry we are that missed this we have. No trouble are you in, Padawan Kenobi. Fear not, you should.” Yoda turned to address Master Che. “Records of past incidents, have you?”

 

“We have the assailants medical records on file, yes. And there is evidence of past brawling that falls in line with some of Padawan Kenobi’s previous trips to the Halls. However, we were unable to prove anything at the time and Creche Master Vant always assured us it wasn’t as serious as we assumed. The Healers, myself included, also failed in our duty by not checking further than young Kenobi’s clan head. When the investigation concludes, I would like a report on what improvements the Council would suggest to our protocols in the Halls so this doesn’t happen again.” Vokara concluded with a look of contrition on her face. _I should have fought harder for the child. I should have known that a bullied child might not be honest about the source of his injuries fearing reprimand. Bullying isn’t a merely physical crime, after all._

 

“We shall investigate the creche; starting with Master Vant. Her inaction in this case is troubling. Whatever we find in this case, we shall have to overhaul the creche, as well. It is not simply the Halls that have failed in this. We are all at fault, but I cannot understand how no master of the creche could have seen the signs of this. To let it get this serious…” Master Windu trailed off on that thought. All adults present understood what he wasn’t saying—how many younglings may have been abused and neglected on their watch? How many children did they fail? They shook that thought off with some difficulty to focus on the present issue. They have one abused and neglected child in front of them now and even one is too many.

 

“Padawan Kenobi, would you be willing to look this way for a moment, child?” Master Koon queried. Obi-Wan, who had been surprised that his admission of previously lying to the healers to conceal the source of past injuries had led to no censure or punishment for him, but instead admissions of guilt on the parts of the adults in the room, had calmed somewhat from his earlier distress. _I don’t understand what’s going on. Why am I not in trouble?_ He looked up at Master Koon’s request despite his misgivings about the proceedings. “Thank you, Padawan. How are you feeling now?”

 

Obi-Wan was confused by the question. _What does Master Koon mean?_ “M’okay,” he mumbled.

 

“Are you in any pain?” Plo continued.

 

“S’not as bad as before. Master Che used the bone mender and bacta. And she gave me a pain reliever.” _Is Master Koon a healer, too? He asks questions like one._

 

“But you are still in some pain, young one?” The Kel Dor seemed stuck on this point. He put a lot of weight into it. _Have we been focusing on our own shortcomings while a child was held here in pain?_ He worried.

 

“S’just a little. Ah feel much better than before. Master Qui-Gon and Master Che took good care a’me.”

 

“I’m glad you received such good care, child. I am sorry to hear you still hurt, however.” Plo turned his attention to Vokara. “Master Che, is it time for another dose of pain reliever? I wouldn’t want our discussion to distract from Padawan Kenobi’s care.”

 

“He’s not due just yet, Master Koon. Due to Padawan Kenobi’s smaller than average size, he cannot safely receive another dose for two hours, yet. And even then, I would rather not give him another dose before he’s had third-meal. With his metabolism, it might not be safe.” Master Che’s pronouncement saw the Council look at Obi-Wan with new eyes.

 

“We shall add Padawan Kenobi’s lack of proper nourishment to the charges. That, at least, should have been a simple and clear responsibility of Master Vant.” Mace stated with a frown.

 

“I apologize, Padawan Kenobi. We appear to get distracted from our conversation at every point. I do hope you’ll forgive me.” Master Koon seemed to wear some regret on his face, though it was hard to tell through his mask. “Are you happy with Master Jinn? That is, are you certain you wish to be his Padawan or did you accept the position out of worry over your future?” Seeing the solicitude this question brought to the child’s face he hastened to continue. “Peace, Padawan, you have nothing to fear from this Council. You are in no trouble no matter your answer. I simply wish to ensure your choice was your own and one you would wish to make even under better circumstances.”

 

 _How could he think I don’t want to be with Master Qui-Gon? Doesn’t he understand? I’ll make him understand._ “Master Qui-Gon said I deserve to be a Jedi. He said he believes in me. Master says—he says I’m not a nothing ‘cuz he’d never take a nothing as his padawan. He looks at me like I’m worth something—like I’m special. And the Force says we’re s’posed to be together. It gave me a space in my head for him. Master says it’s a bond and it means we’re meant to be together. So you can’t take me away from him! Please don’t take me away.” Obi-Wan was sniffling at the end, but not outright sobbing. While he started strong, his anxiety over the possible ramifications of his answer was obvious by the end.

 

“Peace, Padawan Kenobi. We are not here to take you away from your master. Before the Council can sign off on a new partnership, we must make sure both parties are entering into it of their own free will. I am glad to know Master Jinn has offered you such solace. I am also surprised to hear of this bond, however.” Plo turned to Qui-Gon for his next question. “Master Jinn, did you initiate a bond with an initiate without first seeking approval of the Council?”

Qui-Gon understood the question for what it was, a subtly worded threat should that prove to be the case, and knew he’d have to be clear with his answer. “No, Master Koon, I did not. The Force, however, did. After I asked Obi-Wan to be my padawan learner and he accepted, I reached for his hand. As our hands touched, the Force seemed to swell up and a bond formed between us. It is still in its infancy, but it is the strongest bond I’ve ever had. If you examine it, I believe you will find the truth of my words.”

 

The Council took on thoughtful expressions for the most part, though Master Mundi seemed somewhat troubled and Master Windu’s brow seemed to furrow further. “You’re saying this partnership is the will of the Force?” Mace questioned, fully expecting an answer in the affirmative.

 

“Yes, Masters.” Qui-Gon confirmed.

 

“Interesting news, this is. Meditate on it, I shall.” Yoda inserted himself into the conversation before an argument could break out over what was or was not the will of the Force. _Hear this, Obi-Wan needs not. Fearful, he still is. Uncertain of his future, he is. Settle this matter, we should._ “Stated their willingness to be partners, Padawan Kenobi and Master Jinn have. Met our requirements, they have. Been patient with our questions, they have. Objections to this partnership, any here have, hmmm?”

 

“His age is something we should discuss before we go any further.” Master Gallia voiced a thought many had been avoiding. “I am aware young Kenobi suffered while in the care of his creche clan, but to become a padawan learner at seven standards is rather unusual. While not unheard of, we have found more success with padawanships that start at a later age. Speaking plainly, is it too soon for the young human to become a padawan?”

 

“I believe, under the circumstances, the child would have a greater chance of success should he become a padawan now than if we were to send him back to an environment that has so failed him for another few years. Were this a usual case, we could discuss usual expectations, but as we’ve already established, this is thankfully an unusual case. There is no need to risk further damage to young Kenobi when he has a willing teacher right here capable of giving him the support he needs.” Mace stated firmly.

 

“What of Master Jinn’s last padawan,” questioned Master Rancisis. “Xanatos du Crion made it all the way to his trials. He failed. He Fell and he left this Order.”

 

“Know for certain of his Fall, we do not.” Yoda said with some vehemence. “Suspect it, we may, but know, we do not. His choices, Xanatos’ responsibility were. Control the free will of another, no master should. Be held responsible for the choices of his former padawan, Qui-Gon should not.”

 

“If he failed a child so set for success, how can we be certain he will not fail a damaged child like Kenobi?” The Force grew heavy at Thisspiasian master’s thoughtless question. It seemed to weigh down on all present as Obi-Wan latched further onto Qui-Gon. _I’m damaged?_ The sweet child thought with dismay. _Does that mean they’ll take me away after all? Can I really not be a Jedi?_

 

Qui-Gon grew enraged at the terror Master Rancisis had instilled in his new charge. “Enough!” He shouted. “How dare you imply my padawan is somehow less than Xanatos. How dare you compare the two at all!” Qui-Gon had a fire in his eyes as he stared down the one who had hurt Obi-Wan, wittingly or no. “Obi-Wan is a bright light in the Force. I’ve never felt any like him. He even tries to protect those who would do him harm. Xanatos made his choices. And while I may have been able to do more to stop him, I cannot change the past. I have spent the last three years agonizing over his decisions and I can think of nothing I could do to change them. This fear nearly let me pass Obi-Wan by, when the Force itself wills us to be partners. You can judge me and blame me all you like for my failings as Xanatos’ teacher, but you cannot find fault in Obi-Wan. Never suggest my padawan is somehow less for handling his trauma however he can. He is a strong, brave boy and he will make a fine Jedi. And it will be my greatest honor to guide him to his knighthood.” The fervor in Qui-Gon’s voice quieted the Council. Even Master Che took notice of its effect.

 

 _If Qui-Gon hadn’t said it, I’d have done a lot worse to that bantha fodder._ “If I ever hear you describe an assault survivor, or any kind of survivor, as ‘damaged’ again, Councilor, please be assured that your next stay in the Halls will be swift and painful.” _It can’t hurt to really get the point across._

 

“We have moved rather far from the point of this session, I believe.” Madame Nu moved to break the tension in the room and in the Force. “I believe we have previously established Master Jinn’s lack of responsibility for former Padawan du Crion’s actions. They hardly seem germane to this discussion. As there are no marks on Master Jinn’s record that would prevent him from taking a padawan learner and both he and young Kenobi are willingly entering into this partnership, I move to approve their match and dismiss them to the Quartermaster to be assigned proper quarters. Any objections?” She waited for a response. Finding no objections forthcoming after Masters Jinn and Che thoroughly eviscerated the last one, she concluded, “Then we wish you luck, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi. May the Force be with you.”

 

“And with you, Masters.” Qui-Gon gave a nod of the head rather than the typical bow as Obi-Wan was still in his arms. _Not that I’m sure I would bow anyway. After what that doshing moof-milker said about Obi-Wan. Damaged?! I won’t stand for anyone, not even a Council member, making my boy feel like he is somehow less than the bright light he is._

 

At that, Qui-Gon left the chambers in the direction of the Quartermasters. “What do you think, little one? Maybe we’ll get quarters overlooking the gardens. Master Piell recently moved back to knight’s quarters after his padawan completed his Trials. They had a very peaceful view. It was conducive to meditating on the Living Force.”

 

Obi-Wan sniffled into Qui-Gon’s shoulder. “Aren’t you sad, Master?”

 

“Why ever would I be sad, child?” Qui-Gon queried in surprise.

 

“Because that master said I was broken and now you’re stuck with me.” Obi-Wan managed to make himself look up at Qui-Gon as he asked it; knowing instinctively that he’d need to see his master’s face as he answered.

 

“That master didn’t know what he was talking about, Padawan. Just because someone is a master or has a seat on the Council, it doesn’t make them more knowledgeable about everything and it certainly doesn’t make them right all the time. He said that about you because he doesn’t like me. He wanted to prevent me from becoming your master because of me, not because of you. You are not broken, little one. You are not damaged. You are a living being who has been through a lot of hurt and has only today started on the way to recovery. He had no right to insinuate otherwise.” Qui-Gon felt his own distress rise as he realized again the pain Rancisis had brought to his young charge. “I am not sad at all that I get to train you. I am Force blessed to have this chance to guide you into Knighthood. I know we’ve only known each other less than a day, Obi-Wan, but I hope with time you’ll come to trust that I am the one who is lucky to have you. As our bond deepens, I hope you’ll feel my sincerity and find comfort in me. Until then—even after that—I hope you’ll continue to share your worries with me as you just did.” Qui-Gon was smiling at the end as he looked at the little light in his arms. _Force willing, you will find your self-worth under my tutelage. If I leave you with only one thing, I want it to be the knowledge of how worthy you are._

 

Obi-Wan saw the sincerity in his master’s eyes and thought with awe _I’m the lucky one, Master. I won’t let my damage hold you back. I promise._ The child still had a long way to go to believe he had worth on his own, but with Qui-Gon at his side and the help of the Temple mind healers, he’d get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was the Council meeting. I was planning on going past the meeting, but this chapter was getting pretty long and I thought this was a good stopping point (besides, I already made you all wait over a week for a chapter). I'm working on the next chapter already. If you liked this, I would really appreciate a comment. Thanks for reading!


	3. Old Friends and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon takes Obi-Wan to meet an old friend over dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! Your reactions to the last chapter meant the absolute world to me. Every time I hit a block in my writing I would re-read your lovely comments and they gave me the fuel I needed to push through. You all have no idea how much it means to me to know someone out there likes what I write enough to want to tell me so. This chapter is dedicated to all of you. Thank you so much!
> 
> As always, I have no beta so any mistakes are my own. This chapter was written from April 13, 2018 - April 16, 2018 and edited on April 17, 2018.

As Qui-Gon Jinn walked into his new quarters with his padawan in his arms he came to a realization he wished he’d had earlier. _Master Yan is going to kill me._ His former master had asked Qui-Gon to partner with him on a planned research trip to the Temple of the Kyber, home to the Guardians of the Whills. Master Yan Dooku had been on an extended research journey for going on five years now for a prophesy said to have been made back during the last schism. It’s said to tell of how balance will be brought back to the Force. _Yan will understand once he meets Obi-Wan. He fairly glows in the Force. Perhaps Master could be convinced to postpone his trip until Obi-Wan is better and we could all search the Temple as a lineage. We could even convince Feemor to put down his experiments and join us. I’m sure he’d enjoy meeting his younger lineage brother. Even if his last brother was a bit of a disappointment._

 

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were lucky enough to get Master Piell’s old quarters after all and had a lovely view of one of the meditation gardens. “What do you think, Obi-Wan? I bet if we put some plants on the balcony, we could convince a few of the butterflies to come up for a visit.”

 

Obi-Wan looked around the rooms with awe. _All of this is for us?_ In the creche, the rooms were done bunk style with four to a sleeping chamber with very little room for much other than sleeping. As master/padawan pairs spent much time studying, meditating, going over missions, and generally living their down-time in the Temple in their rooms, they were of a more moderate size. Certainly not ostentatious, but more room than Obi-Wan was accustomed to. Thinking on what his master asked of him, Obi-Wan grew excited. “Do you really think butterflies would visit us, Master?” He lit up the room with the force of his joy.

 

 _What a precious creature my young charge is._ “There’s certainly a chance, Padawan. Once we get your things set up, we’ll gather my things from my old knight’s rooms. I have a few plants that might attract them there, but if they don’t work, we can always try some other ones until we manage to entice them.” _Anything to keep you smiling like that, little one._

 

Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan unpack his new padawan robes and tunics into the storage area of his sleeping chamber then helped him dress in one set. “Here’s how you layer the tabards and obi. It’s a little different from the initiate’s tunics, but you’ll get the hang of it in no time. Until then, I’m always here to help.” Qui-Gon had a smile of his own at seeing his padawan looking the part. _The padawan cut is as unflattering as I remember, but somehow Obi-Wan still looks adorable. Force save me from when he learns to use his cuteness to get what he wants._ “Now, Padawan, what say we clear out my old quarters and get something to eat. Do you feel up for a trip into the city? A friend of mine has a diner I think you’d enjoy.”

 

 _The city? I’ve never left the Temple before. I hope I don’t embarrass Master Qui-Gon._ “I’m not really hungry, but I’d like to meet your friend, Master.” Obi-Wan settled on.

 

 _Not hungry? It’s been at least seven hours since last he ate._ Qui-Gon felt unease take hold of him. _Keep calm, Qui-Gon. Remember what Vokara said. Obi-Wan has difficulties with knowing what his body needs, so I will have to keep track of that for him._ “We’ll see how you feel once we get there, but I will have to insist you eat something, little light. You’re still a growing boy and besides, you can’t take your next does of pain reliever until you’ve something in your stomach. I want you to be able to rest easy tonight, Padawan—not struggle to sleep through the pain.”

 

 _It seems like such a waste to eat when I’m not hungry, but_ _if that’s what Master wants, I’ll do it._ “Okay, Master.”

 

 _He’s a very agreeable child. I must make sure no one takes advantage of that._ “Well then, Obi-Wan. Off to my old quarters and down to Dex’s after. You’ll like Dex, he’s a real character.”

 

///////////////////////////////////////

 

“Qui-Gon Jinn, you old Gundark! Where have you been hiding yourself?” A mustachioed Besalisk on the short side of his species’ average height lumbered up to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as they entered the CoCo Town establishment. Grabbing Qui-Gon up in a bone-creaking hug with two of his four arms, he continued his greeting. “I haven’t seen you in an age old man. Look at yourself. Have you even been eating?” Setting Qui-Gon back on the ground to get a better look at him, he noticed his friend’s tiny shadow. “And who is this little spark?”

 

“Dex, let me introduce you to my new padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan, this reprobate is Dexter Jettster, the owner of this diner.” Qui-Gon said with a smile.

 

“Call me Dex, little human.” Looking back up at Qui-Gon he expressed some worry. “Taking them a little young now, hey Qui-Gon? I thought padawans came larger than this.”

 

“M’seven standards.” Obi-Wan said as he clenched his hand into his master’s robes. _I’m not too young. The Council approved my becoming a padawan. That means I’m not too young, right?_

 

“Seven standards?! And I thought this old bantha herder wasn’t eating right. Come, come. We’ll get you up to size in no time little human.” With that Dex herded Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon off to a booth.

 

“My name is Obi-Wan, not little human.” Obi-Wan said with courage he may not have felt.

 

“Indeed it is, Obi-Wan. My apologies.” Dex chortled as he sat the humans down. “Let me make a better impression. How about while you eat, I tell you stories of your master, here, when he was an apprentice himself. We ran into each other on a few of his missions in my prospecting days, you know. He didn’t wear the padawan cut nearly as well as you.”

 

Obi-Wan giggled and hid his smile behind his hands. _Is it okay to laugh at my master? What if I’m messing up already?_ He worried.

 

“Don’t cover your face, little one. A laugh is a glorious thing and a smile is a gift to be shared.” Qui-Gon eased his apprentice’s worries with a smile and laugh of his own. “And you,” he turned to the Besalisk. “Don’t go ruining my student’s opinion of me on my first day as his teacher. I should at least make it to the first mission before he realizes how much trouble I’ll cause him.”

 

“Ha! Are you even capable of going a day without trouble?” Dex’s laughter shook the table.

 

“I’ll have you know I’ve gone as much as two days without trouble.” Qui-Gon put on a fake affronted look for a moment before he, too, cracked up with laughter.

 

 _I really like this place._ Obi-Wan thought with a grin. _Dex makes my master laugh. He must be a good person._

 

“Now, let’s get you a menu so the little spark can decide what to eat. You won’t have a choice, old man. You haven’t visited in far too long, so you’ll eat what I give you.” With that, Dex turned to a droid roaming about the busy diner. “FLO, bring us a menu, would you, and come meet Qui-Gon’s new keeper.” The grinning Besalisk looked back at Qui-Gon. “While FLO’s getting acquainted with Master Obi-Wan, here, you owe me some help with my grill, if I remember right. Should only take you a blink. What do you say?”

 

For the first time since they arrived, Dex had a serious look in his eyes. He masked it well with his smile, but Qui-Gon could see through it. “Only for a moment and only if my padawan says he’ll be okay with FLO.” He turns his attention to Obi-Wan. "What say you, Padawan mine?”

 

 _Master said it’d only be for a moment. There are so many beings around, I’m sure I’ll be fine._ “I’ll be okay, Master.” Obi-Wan gives a reassuring smile up at the older human.

 

“I’ve got your menu, Dex.” FLO, a waitress droid with bright yellow optics, handed over a menu. “And you must be my new favorite customer. Name’s FLO. What’s your callsign, cutie?”

 

Obi-Wan felt his cheeks heat in a blush. “I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ma’am.”

 

“Well aren’t you a polite one.” She said with glee before turning her attention to Dex. “You could learn something from him, laserbrain.”

 

“Pah! Who has time to be polite? Do me a favor and keep your new favorite customer company while I borrow Qui-Gon.” He said as he got out of the booth.

 

“You kidding? My pleasure. It’s not every day I get to spend time with someone who has manners.” With that FLO situated herself in Dex’s surrendered seat. As Qui-Gon and Dex moved to the backroom, they could just make out FLO asking Obi-Wan, “So, what’s your favorite food, sparklet?”

 

//////////////////////////////////

 

After ensuring their privacy, Qui-Gon questioned Dex. “I don’t like leaving Obi-Wan alone, so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m short, but what is this about?”

 

“That’s what I’d like to know. You say you’ve only had the child for less than a day, but he’s here covered in bruises looking like he’s been through the thresher. That he can smile and laugh is a load off my mind, but he’s been hurt and I know you Qui-Gon Jinn; you wouldn’t have taken a hurt child out for food before getting them medical attention. Which means that child is hurt worse than he looks. What could hurt a Jedi initiate so bad his face is full of broken blood vessels? And does that have anything to do with you suddenly having a new little student when the last time I saw you, you were determined never to teach again?”

 

 _So, that’s what this is about._ “Obi-Wan is going to be fine, Dex. I appreciate your worries, but everything is being seen to. The Council is investigating what happened to him so it won’t be allowed to happen to any other youngling in our care.” He held up a hand to forestall Dex’s objections to his statements. “I cannot tell you any more than that. It is an internal Jedi matter and it is being handled. Obi-Wan will not be hurt any further and the perpetrators are going to be punished.” Qui-Gon breathed easier at the sight of his friend’s shoulders relaxing.

 

“Hmph, I’ll let it slide for now since you seem so sure that the child won’t be hurt further, but I expect to see you both regularly so I can check on it myself. I have sources other than you in the Temple, don’t forget. Were you ordered to take him on as part of this investigation?”

 

“The Order cannot force any Jedi to take a padawan. That would be a recipe for unequal partnership and almost certain failure for the padawan. We don’t risk our younglings like that. Now, As for why I agreed to take a student… I suppose the easiest way to explain it is that I felt his Force presence, his very spirit, and was in awe of its light. He’s been very hurt, Dex, but he’s still so pure in the Force. He hasn’t let his misfortune taint him. He’s going to be amazing, my friend, but he will need help to get there and I felt a pull to be that help. So I set aside my misgivings about teaching again as best as I was able so I could be there for him.”

 

“I don’t know much about Force presence, but I can tell he’s a sweet child. I can understand wanting to help him. I’ve known you for most of your life, Qui-Gon Jinn and you’re finally acting like yourself again. I’ve missed you these last years, my friend. If Obi-Wan is the one to thank for having you back, well, I owe that boy.” Dex gave Qui-Gon’s shoulder a squeeze as he looked fondly at his old friend.

 

_I really haven’t been myself since Xanatos left. I didn’t realize I was worrying others with my behavior. That was rather close-minded of me. I will have to meditate on this. Also, I owe some apologies to my friends and lineage. I’m glad Dex told me. It wouldn’t do to let my past mistakes weigh on Obi-Wan._

 

The Besalisk’s expression went hard again as he redirected their conversation back to its original topic: Obi-Wan’s wellbeing. “So, to start paying that debt, you can tell me why the boy is so small. I’ve seen a lot of humans and that is not a normal size. Does his stature have anything to do with this incident you can’t tell me about, or is there a food issue I should made aware of?”

 

“That would be another matter I cannot share, but not for the same reason. Obi-Wan’s size is his business. I will, however, say that I was hoping a few trips here may help with the issue.” Qui-Gon hinted as well as he could without betraying Obi-Wan’s trust on the matter. _Obi-Wan never asked me to keep it a secret, but it still feels wrong to spread it around. I’m hoping Vokara was correct in that it’s a simple matter of not feeling hunger rather than an issue of not liking to or not being able to eat. Either way, if we can find some foods he particularly enjoys perhaps it’ll be easier to get him to eat._

 

“If it’s something that good food can correct, you came to the right place.” Dex was smiling again now that he was reassured Obi-Wan would be okay and Qui-Gon was looking out for him holistically. “I suppose I’ve kept you from your charge long enough. Let’s see if FLO’s corrupted him, yet.”

 

//////////////////////////////

 

“And then the Rodian said ‘if this is groat chop, I’ll eat my snout.’” FLO was finishing what must have been an amusing anecdote if Obi-Wan’s laughter was anything to go by. The boy appeared to be having trouble breathing through it.

 

“It looks as though you two are having fun.” Qui-Gon smiled with ease at the sight of his joy-filled padawan.

 

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan forced out through wheezing laughs.

 

“He’s a good spark, Qui-Gon. You make sure he stays that way, okay? I’d better get back to work, Obi. Thanks for the laughs.” With that, FLO went back to her duties and Qui-Gon returned to his seat.

 

Dex chose to remain standing while he asked, “So, did you make your choice, little light?”

 

“Yes Mister Dex. Could I please have the kelp noodles with the spicy sauce?” Obi-Wan looked up shyly through his lashes as he made his request.

 

“None of that mister stuff with me, Obi-Wan. I already told ya, it’s just Dex. How spicy do you like your noodles?”

 

“I don’t know. We don’t have spicy food at the Temple. I just wanted to see what it was like.” Obi-Wan furrowed his brow as he wondered if he’d ordered incorrectly.

 

“Well then, we’ll have to test your tolerance. I’ll bring you a plate with a few bundles. You try each and tell me which you like best and I’ll get you a proper portion of that.” With that Dex walked off before Obi-Wan could try to stop him from going through extra effort for him.

 

“I’m sorry, Master.” He said dejectedly, seemingly drooping in his seat.

 

“Whatever for, little one?” Qui-Gon asked in shock. _What happened? He seemed so happy and excited just a moment ago._

 

“I made your friend have to do extra ‘cuz I didn’t know how to order. I didn’t mean to be a bother.” Obi-Wan sniffled a little and rubbed at his eyes as they began to tear up. _Stupid Oafy-One. Can’t even order food right._

 

“You were no bother, youngling. Dex likes you quite a bit and so he’s chosen to help you figure out what you like. He takes great pride in his cooking and he wants you to enjoy it. Besides that, no one can bother Dex. He does what he wants when he wants to. He wouldn’t have offered to let you try the different spice levels if he didn’t want to, I promise.” As he said it, Qui-Gon reached out and grabbed his padawan’s hands to stop them from rubbing at his eyes. He rubbed soothing circles on the back of them with his thumbs as he calmed his child down.

 

 _So I wasn’t a bother? It’s really hard to tell. My head hurts._ “Okay, Master. Sorry for being a baby” Obi-Wan said quietly, but thankfully free of tears.

 

 _We have much work to do on my boy’s self-esteem if he thinks someone offering him help or his having an emotional response to stress is something to apologize for. I knew that already, though. I suppose I just hoped getting out of the Temple and away from the pressure he felt there would ease it more._ “You’ve nothing to apologize for, Obi-Wan. You’ve had a tough day and you’ve handled everything so well. This is my fault for overtaxing you. I should have gotten food from the Commissary to tide us over tonight and brought you to meet Dex tomorrow. I was simply so excited you agreed to be my padawan that I wanted us to do something special to celebrate. I hope you can forgive me. Would you like us to take our food with us once it’s done and return to our new quarters? We can watch a holo while we eat, if you’d like. And then you can have the next dose of your pain-reliever if you feel up to it.”

 

Qui-Gon continued holding Obi-Wan’s hands to comfort him, but also to get a better feel of how Obi-Wan was doing through their bond. As it was still so new, physical contact helped make it clearer. _Obi-Wan is in pain. This was a poor plan on my part. Commissary food would have been faster and he would have been able to rest while he ate. It was nice to see him laugh, though._

 

 _Master seems distressed._ Obi-Wan thought as he looked up into Qui-Gon’s eyes. “It’s okay, Master. I said I was up for it. I’m glad we came. This was a fun first trip out of the Temple. I liked meeting FLO and Dex. If we take our food home, can we come back another day?”

 

 _Force bless this child. Such compassion even after all that’s happened in his short life. I don’t know how I’ll ever deserve him._ “Of course we can, little one. I’ll let Dex know that once you’ve picked your spicy noodles we’d like our food boxed up. He’ll understand.”

 

////////////////////////

 

After learning that Obi-Wan likes extra spicy kelp noodles and gaining promises from Dex to tell embarrassing stories from Qui-Gon’s youth at a later date, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon returned to their quarters in the Temple to enjoy their meal in peace.

 

“What kind of holo program would you like to watch, Obi-Wan?”

 

Obi-Wan thought it over for a moment before requesting,“Do they have any about animals, Master?”

Qui-Gon checked the schedule and replied, “There’s a holodoc about anoobas. Would that interest you?”

 

 _Anoobas? Really? How wonderful._ “I would like that very much, Master. I read that anoobas’ long tails are used not only to counterbalance their sprinting, but also to help regulate their internal temperature. Isn’t that fascinating?” Obi-Wan was radiating his interest and joy at the topic through the Force. Qui-Gon couldn’t help but smile at his joy.

 

“That is fascinating, Padawan. Do you enjoy learning about animals?” He asked, expecting the answer to be a resounding yes.

 

“Oh, yes, Master. Very much. I like learning about any living thing. I’m not so good with the Living Force, though. Bruck always said it was useless to spend so much time learning about creatures I’d never be able to understand ‘cuz I’m so unbalanced towards the Unifying Force, but Master Akinslesh used to tell me that balance comes with time and training. He told me he was born in the Living Force like I was born in the Unifying Force and that by the time he became a Knight he had found proficiency in both.” There was a pregnant pause as a wave of grief was tangible in the Force. “I miss him.” Obi-Wan finished on a sad note.

 

 _I was unaware Master Akinslesh taught in the creche while Obi-Wan was there. I must be rather overdue for my own teaching cycle._ “Master Akinslesh’s loss was a loss to us all, but he left behind his great wisdom. I hope you take it to heart. Not all are born as strongly in one side of the Force as another and it is a difficult thing to be born under the Unifying Force as its gifts are harder to see while its burdens are more easily felt, but I agree with Master Akinslesh that with time and training you will find your path to balance. In the mean time, please don’t allow anyone, and certainly not Bruck Chun, to tell you what you can and cannot find joy in studying. It is wonderful that you are so interested in living beings and I hope you’ll continue to share that joy with me. Shall we watch the program?” Qui-Gon was pleased to see that his words had reached his student.

 

“I would like that. Thank you, Master.” Obi-Wan managed a small smile, that grew as the holodoc was started. He was quickly absorbed in the program, only remembering to eat when Qui-Gon nudged him to do so.

 

_Perhaps I will have to reconsider eating while watching holos if they are so distracting. At least until Obi-Wan learns to eat better._

 

As he watched his young charge’s eyes light up with glee as the narrator informed them of the pack structure of the anooba, Qui-Gon found his mind wandering. _It’s important to take however long one needs to grieve, but I wouldn’t see that grief stop you from enjoying your life. I am glad that you’ve had good teachers in your corner. I wonder, though, if our system of cycling instructors is what allowed your abuse to go so unnoticed. As instructors changed out so frequently, switching between active duty and short instructor cycles, was there any time to truly observe the children interacting? I will have to inform the Council of my fears. We may need to rethink how we schedule instructors._

 

Obi-Wan focused on the program until his eyes began to droop. As he started drifting off, Qui-Gon carried him to his chambers and helped him change into his sleeping garments. Tucking Obi-Wan into his new bed, Qui-Gon leaned in to press a soft kiss to his charge’s forehead. “Sleep well, little one.”

 

Obi-Wan gave into slumber with a beautiful smile on his face. Happy and secure for the first time he could remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was even longer than the last one, so I cut it off here. I have some idea of how to start the next chapter, but not a lot of ideas on where it's going past that. Here's hoping the muse strikes me soon. Thank you all again for taking the time to read my fic. If you enjoyed it, I'd really appreciate a comment. Have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote more of this, but I didn't like where it was going. I decided to post this and save what I wrote to go back to later if I ever figure out a better way to continue it. No promises on more of this, but it's a possibility.


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